Sadly thinness is the holy grail of celebrity women instead of strength, power, mobility & longevity when it comes to our body as we move through the decades. Personally I admire those women in the spotlight who are confident enough to remain themselves & if and when they do something invasive be honest about it, rather than pretending it’s just their genes/skincare/supplements. Ps I used to bump into Elle years ago as we shared a facialist & she was The Body who was honest about her dedication to fitness & exercise
Yes! The ‘90s and aughts were bad, but everyone acts like diet culture didn’t exist prior to 1990. It was so bad in the 1970s and 1980s (and diet culture has existed at least since women wore corsets).
Thank you for your spot-on article about meno-bellies; they are the new muffin top! I have a pooch now that I'm post menopausal, and it is a transition. But rather than getting ads for comfy elastic pants (ahh) or exercises that would work for me and my creaky knees, I get bombarded with fat-shaming supplements and Jane Fonda-esque workout programs- gross. Can we all just age openly and accept that we expand? I wanna be a squishy, happy gal!
This all rings so true (and I laughed at the mention of Snackwells and Slim Fast). I am a mostly skinny person but was 10-25 pounds heavier in my teens and twenties, up and down and up and down, thanks to depression and then later, lots of booze. I remember crying to my mother when trying on a bathing suit when I was 29 that there was nothing I could do about my weight because I now had the fat cells and they don't ever go away! 😑 I was just thinking that I would have absolutely gone on Ozempic during that time. Also 😑.
Oh wow from slim fast to the Cindy Crawford workout vhs tape, I soaked up all the messages and practices you cover. I’ve been able to quiet the internal body assessment of myself a bit with aging, but it’s still there. Mostly my fear of fat is shifting to a fear of frailty.
Once I started trying to quantify all of it I couldn’t believe how much there was. I’m getting to where you are finally too — and mobility is a big concern (but I hate yoga so it’s a real problem🤪)
I didn’t realize how many of these messages had soaked into my GenX brain until I read your article and thought back to the hours spent trying to convince myself I liked working out. Now I’m making changes to my life that bring movement through things I like, such as being with my dog, walking in nature, etc. And I’d echo what others have said about the Ozempic era pressures - I noticed last year that some friends only seemed to talk about food/calories, dosage levels and weight loss progress, so I had to pull back from them. In our 50’s there are much more interesting things to talk about!
This was just stellar all around (your R.E.M.-esque roundup captured the era well!). And as long as Gen X celebs are stuck in diet culture cycle (and finding new ways to monetize it), then it trickles down to us. And the GLP-1 of it all doesn't help!
As I read this, what was most interesting to me personally is the "body positivity" moment in our culture actually stayed with me. Working out is now primarily about health, not thinness, and that feels like a small victory.
I’m the same with working out too, like it helps me write and formulate ideas (and work out stress). I’m trying to keep the millennial body positivity mentality going for my own mental health, too but what happened?! I liked the movement!! Why can’t we keep it?!
Ugh. SlimFast — I can still taste it. In 1984 I had a high school PE class where we did aerobics to a VCR recording of the :20 Minute Workout. Remember that show? Women worked out in revealing spandex on a rotating platform (please Google it if you’ve never seen it). Go for the burn! What’s that smell? Oh just my fragile 15-year-old self esteem.
That really was quite a trip down memory lane. Most people assume things were better before the internet and social media, but your piece is a great reminder of the 80s-90s diet culture crap that has followed us to midlife.
For parents, it can feel like a hormonal and body change perfect storm in our homes, with kids going through big developmental changes, too. But I've come to reimagine it as a perfect opportunity (I know it sounds corny). I think we have a chance to talk about the external appearance pressures and model body acceptance (or neutrality or gratitude or whatever feels right—or maybe even fake it til you make it).
I worked for Weight Watchers for nine years as a leader, after losing over 50 pounds with their program. I really liked it and thought it had a lot of benefits, and I still use a lot of the tools I learned from it. I let go of a lot of my inner pressure to look a certain way as I went through menopause, and I’m working to be kinder to the body I have rather than trying to change it into some male-gaze-based idea.
As always, thank you so much for the thought-provoking articles. Oh, and the Keanu. 💕
WW has helped a lot of people for sure. I’m jealous of where you are attitude-wise and am still working to get there! Radical acceptance is a real slog mentally. Thank you so much for reading/commenting here
I felt like we were finally getting to a place of body acceptance and then friggin’ GLP-1 came along. The worst part: I confess I tried (and failed) to get a prescription for it. Back to diet culture jail I go.
When I was thinking about HRT I asked my gynecologist about weight loss on them and she was like yeah, no sorry it won’t do anything. I’ll join you in diet culture jail
When she was 20 Jennifer Aniston was a Nutrisystem Girl. She had to go to promotional events for Nutrisystem, one of them was showing up on The Howard Stern Show in 1989. Pretty sure that interview has been scrubbed. Aniston has been a diet pusher for a long, long time but also, she was a struggling actress trying to pay bills.
Firstly, MASSIVE CONGRATS 🥂🍾🎉 , again, 100% here for and thank you for creating and bringing us the most amazing, hilarious, brilliantly researched long-assed posts of the VF variety, like this one, week on week!!! (Secondly), HARD RELATE, to so much—brilliant observations and connections with 80s/90s messaging for Gen Xers now—and some aha moments along the way, here, too—THANK YOU. This is brilliant. And as ever, song lyrics on point!
I read your entire article and just realized I've been reading it as 'mono-belly' which makes no sense, but nothing in diet culture does. My mom turned 80 yesterday, we're wrapping up our call today and I say I'm going to work out. And she says something like, oh yeah if you work at it, you'll lose weight. And I'm like, I don't care about losing weight, I'm 45, I've had 3 kids, I'm never going to be slim again, I work out to be strong, and she then tells me not to worry, when she got old, the weight just fell off her, and there is no way to get it into her head that I don't care that I'm chubby, being healthy is my goal.
It is so hard when the messaging comes from inside the house —I’m so sorry. And I’m with you on strength and health! I’ve been weightlifting for a few years now and love the feeling
True about the messaging coming from inside the house. It primarily came from my dad, who has been restrictive eating forever and now comments on what his grandkids eat....and he's in his eighties.
I worry about my weight much more from a health perspective than body shape now - I do a lot of yoga and the difference if I put on a couple of pounds is marked. I can’t move myself properly, my arm muscles don’t support the extra weight confidently and my belly gets in the way. My knees complain! My body tells me when it’s not happy with my weight and it’s that, rather than diet culture that pressures me into being more careful. But, I grew up in a family where it was acceptable to comment on any aspect of each others’ bodies negatively and more than one biscuit was ‘greedy’ - my parents to this day are rake thin. I’m not and I’m ok with it (after years of struggling with body image) but I really do not want a body that my knees can’t hold up.
I get that about growing up with that messaging! Chinese elders are famous for commenting on weight (and then showing love language through more food). Then there’s parents growing up in times of war and scarcity that adds another dimension to it all.
I hear you and same! When I gained some weight a few years ago in the throes of peri I really felt it in my knees - I’m a big hiker and it made a difference in knee pain and performance. I def think there is a place for weight maintenance here - but I don’t think it’s a six pack
Sadly thinness is the holy grail of celebrity women instead of strength, power, mobility & longevity when it comes to our body as we move through the decades. Personally I admire those women in the spotlight who are confident enough to remain themselves & if and when they do something invasive be honest about it, rather than pretending it’s just their genes/skincare/supplements. Ps I used to bump into Elle years ago as we shared a facialist & she was The Body who was honest about her dedication to fitness & exercise
Yes! The ‘90s and aughts were bad, but everyone acts like diet culture didn’t exist prior to 1990. It was so bad in the 1970s and 1980s (and diet culture has existed at least since women wore corsets).
Thank you for your spot-on article about meno-bellies; they are the new muffin top! I have a pooch now that I'm post menopausal, and it is a transition. But rather than getting ads for comfy elastic pants (ahh) or exercises that would work for me and my creaky knees, I get bombarded with fat-shaming supplements and Jane Fonda-esque workout programs- gross. Can we all just age openly and accept that we expand? I wanna be a squishy, happy gal!
Squishy Happy Gal is a perfect band name. And I agree that the algorithm doesn’t really have our needs figured out yet! Thanks so much for reading!
Ha! I’ll be holding auditions for Squishy Happy Gals soon. Who’s in?
This all rings so true (and I laughed at the mention of Snackwells and Slim Fast). I am a mostly skinny person but was 10-25 pounds heavier in my teens and twenties, up and down and up and down, thanks to depression and then later, lots of booze. I remember crying to my mother when trying on a bathing suit when I was 29 that there was nothing I could do about my weight because I now had the fat cells and they don't ever go away! 😑 I was just thinking that I would have absolutely gone on Ozempic during that time. Also 😑.
OMG the fat cells! I’m sure some magazine told you that ugh. (Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment)
Yep, definitely a magazine! 😔
Love having a shared history. 💗
Oh wow from slim fast to the Cindy Crawford workout vhs tape, I soaked up all the messages and practices you cover. I’ve been able to quiet the internal body assessment of myself a bit with aging, but it’s still there. Mostly my fear of fat is shifting to a fear of frailty.
Once I started trying to quantify all of it I couldn’t believe how much there was. I’m getting to where you are finally too — and mobility is a big concern (but I hate yoga so it’s a real problem🤪)
I didn’t realize how many of these messages had soaked into my GenX brain until I read your article and thought back to the hours spent trying to convince myself I liked working out. Now I’m making changes to my life that bring movement through things I like, such as being with my dog, walking in nature, etc. And I’d echo what others have said about the Ozempic era pressures - I noticed last year that some friends only seemed to talk about food/calories, dosage levels and weight loss progress, so I had to pull back from them. In our 50’s there are much more interesting things to talk about!
This was just stellar all around (your R.E.M.-esque roundup captured the era well!). And as long as Gen X celebs are stuck in diet culture cycle (and finding new ways to monetize it), then it trickles down to us. And the GLP-1 of it all doesn't help!
As I read this, what was most interesting to me personally is the "body positivity" moment in our culture actually stayed with me. Working out is now primarily about health, not thinness, and that feels like a small victory.
Yes working out serves so many non-thinness-related purposes for me now for sure. But I def used to abuse cardio
I’m the same with working out too, like it helps me write and formulate ideas (and work out stress). I’m trying to keep the millennial body positivity mentality going for my own mental health, too but what happened?! I liked the movement!! Why can’t we keep it?!
Getting to body neutrality is what I am wishing for
Ugh. SlimFast — I can still taste it. In 1984 I had a high school PE class where we did aerobics to a VCR recording of the :20 Minute Workout. Remember that show? Women worked out in revealing spandex on a rotating platform (please Google it if you’ve never seen it). Go for the burn! What’s that smell? Oh just my fragile 15-year-old self esteem.
Oh dear god I DO remember that show!!!
That really was quite a trip down memory lane. Most people assume things were better before the internet and social media, but your piece is a great reminder of the 80s-90s diet culture crap that has followed us to midlife.
For parents, it can feel like a hormonal and body change perfect storm in our homes, with kids going through big developmental changes, too. But I've come to reimagine it as a perfect opportunity (I know it sounds corny). I think we have a chance to talk about the external appearance pressures and model body acceptance (or neutrality or gratitude or whatever feels right—or maybe even fake it til you make it).
I worked for Weight Watchers for nine years as a leader, after losing over 50 pounds with their program. I really liked it and thought it had a lot of benefits, and I still use a lot of the tools I learned from it. I let go of a lot of my inner pressure to look a certain way as I went through menopause, and I’m working to be kinder to the body I have rather than trying to change it into some male-gaze-based idea.
As always, thank you so much for the thought-provoking articles. Oh, and the Keanu. 💕
WW has helped a lot of people for sure. I’m jealous of where you are attitude-wise and am still working to get there! Radical acceptance is a real slog mentally. Thank you so much for reading/commenting here
I’m still working on it, Cheryl, we’re all works in progress. Be kind to yourself.💕
I felt like we were finally getting to a place of body acceptance and then friggin’ GLP-1 came along. The worst part: I confess I tried (and failed) to get a prescription for it. Back to diet culture jail I go.
When I was thinking about HRT I asked my gynecologist about weight loss on them and she was like yeah, no sorry it won’t do anything. I’ll join you in diet culture jail
When she was 20 Jennifer Aniston was a Nutrisystem Girl. She had to go to promotional events for Nutrisystem, one of them was showing up on The Howard Stern Show in 1989. Pretty sure that interview has been scrubbed. Aniston has been a diet pusher for a long, long time but also, she was a struggling actress trying to pay bills.
I mean, I get why she has done it!
Firstly, MASSIVE CONGRATS 🥂🍾🎉 , again, 100% here for and thank you for creating and bringing us the most amazing, hilarious, brilliantly researched long-assed posts of the VF variety, like this one, week on week!!! (Secondly), HARD RELATE, to so much—brilliant observations and connections with 80s/90s messaging for Gen Xers now—and some aha moments along the way, here, too—THANK YOU. This is brilliant. And as ever, song lyrics on point!
Thank you as always for your support!!
💗
Jenni, you are just simply the best
(I am just catching up!) I am still thinking about this piece!
I read your entire article and just realized I've been reading it as 'mono-belly' which makes no sense, but nothing in diet culture does. My mom turned 80 yesterday, we're wrapping up our call today and I say I'm going to work out. And she says something like, oh yeah if you work at it, you'll lose weight. And I'm like, I don't care about losing weight, I'm 45, I've had 3 kids, I'm never going to be slim again, I work out to be strong, and she then tells me not to worry, when she got old, the weight just fell off her, and there is no way to get it into her head that I don't care that I'm chubby, being healthy is my goal.
It is so hard when the messaging comes from inside the house —I’m so sorry. And I’m with you on strength and health! I’ve been weightlifting for a few years now and love the feeling
True about the messaging coming from inside the house. It primarily came from my dad, who has been restrictive eating forever and now comments on what his grandkids eat....and he's in his eighties.
I worry about my weight much more from a health perspective than body shape now - I do a lot of yoga and the difference if I put on a couple of pounds is marked. I can’t move myself properly, my arm muscles don’t support the extra weight confidently and my belly gets in the way. My knees complain! My body tells me when it’s not happy with my weight and it’s that, rather than diet culture that pressures me into being more careful. But, I grew up in a family where it was acceptable to comment on any aspect of each others’ bodies negatively and more than one biscuit was ‘greedy’ - my parents to this day are rake thin. I’m not and I’m ok with it (after years of struggling with body image) but I really do not want a body that my knees can’t hold up.
I get that about growing up with that messaging! Chinese elders are famous for commenting on weight (and then showing love language through more food). Then there’s parents growing up in times of war and scarcity that adds another dimension to it all.
Exactly this - finish your plate, etc.
I hear you and same! When I gained some weight a few years ago in the throes of peri I really felt it in my knees - I’m a big hiker and it made a difference in knee pain and performance. I def think there is a place for weight maintenance here - but I don’t think it’s a six pack
I have a weight my body likes so I have to try and stick to that - currently I’m over but working (unenthusiastically) on it …
Great reporting Cheryl, so on point! I think I've tried every diet and exercise fad you mentioned, as well as more!
Same and I just look back and shake my head